‘Roided Out Renditions of Normally Tiny Things in Kansas City

I was about five years’ old when I first learned the power of wishing on a dandelion. I had picked one delicately from its stem, so as not to disturb the little wispy seeds. I wished for something big. REAL big. I wished for an Alf doll. You see, Alf was cool and I wanted one. I thought clearly about my wish, so the gods of dandelion wishes wouldn’t be confused (again, five, so I thought people actually heard my wishes). Then I inhaled.

And promptly choked.

It seems I may have been thinking a little too hard about my future Alf doll as I ended up inhaling most of the dandelion seeds.

Occasionally, I’ll still wish upon a dandelion. And even though I’ve only had one wish come true out of –maybe thousands– wishes I’ve ever made, I still feel those are pretty good odds.

Now, you might be thinking: where on earth is she going with this? To Kansas City, Missouri–that’s where. Where we got to see ‘roided out renditions of normally tiny things. Like this giant dandelion –that I kid you NOT — was as big as my head…I have a big head… The dandelion was big.

I swear, this is not a close up. It's a dandelion as big as my head. I swear, this is not a close up. It’s a dandelion as big as my head.

 

Walking back to our hotel from our anniversary dinner at Novel, we saw the beautiful downtown scenery of Kansas City. There was the World War I Monument –a testament to all penises — I mean, a statuesquely tall tribute to the Great War. The view from the monument is downtown Kansas City and Union Station. The old buildings in downtown are probably my favorite simply because they remind me old timey’ America. It was in the midst of all that “look-at-these-old-timey-buildings-dagnabbit” that we saw it: the giant dandelion. It blew our mind and I thought, for sure, this is just some renegade dandelion that is kind of like a lone goldfish in a giant pond: with no natural enemies, it could get really big.

The view from the World War I Monument. So pretty. The view from the World War I Monument. So pretty. The World War I Monument front afar. There's a lot of lawns in Kansas City. The World War I Monument front afar. There’s a lot of lawns in Kansas City.

 

Then I saw another one the next day. That’s it, I thought, I must make the biggest wish in the history of wishes.  And I tried. And I did not succeed. That dandelion was rooted in there like the Great American Redwoods of the Pacific Northwest…it’s not going anywhere for a very long time.

That wasn’t the only thing ‘roided out:

The shuttlecock that's about ten feet high. The shuttlecock that’s about twenty feet high.

 

Two giant badminton shuttlecocks (heh, shuttlecock) sat outside the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art. They are at least 1 billion times bigger than an actual shuttlecock (…it does not get old). Walking from the lengths of the Donald J. Hall Sculpture Park in front of the museum, I was getting the distinct feeling that we’ve done this before. The museum is similar to Washington DC memorials and museums on the outside. And, of course, it has very awesome art, too. The best part about all of it is that it was free. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m ready for a game of badminton. I really wish I’ll win.

Which is your favorite? The shuttlecock or the dandelion? Ever found a ‘roided out rendition of something?

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